This year has been so very different for me than any other I can say that I have lived through. My family has always been very important to me and sharing Thanksgiving together had been a special time for me over the last 7 years, for I was separated from this part of my family for 7 years prior. I had recently experienced the loss of my father, a close young cousin of mine became severely ill with schizophrenia, and I have been having some conflict issues at work, so I was really looking forward to this years holiday together. I just wanted to feel that warmth, love, and thankfulness that we still had each other, and not to worry about the hard times. Unfortunately, the changes that I have seen over time, have now came to my family, and they were not good ones. I spent the last two hours of my visit sobbing.
The cousins I grew-up with seemed to have forgotten how they were raised; and a family that once prayed together, now curses each other on the way out the door. My aunt, who once taught respect and manners above all, who did not hesitate to " snatch- a -knot" in any of the children; now sits in silence with her head in her hands crippled from arthritis and osteoporosis. I cannot raise my children with the children that belong to my cousin because they behave like "gang-bangers." I don't think I have ever been so disappointed in my own family in my entire life. What used to be my proud foundation of strength has changed into crumbled pieces of bitterness and anger. I am completely lost, for I am only one person trying to figure out what to do with all of the pieces. I can only pray for strength, as I let the Lord take over.
